58: What If the Life You’re Waiting For Is Already Happening? | Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh – Badass Books and Besties
What does it mean to live your most badass life? For literacy educator and notebook hoarder Stephanie Affinito, it starts with listening to your inner voice and actually doing what it says.
In this heartfelt and inspiring episode of the Badass Books and Besties podcast, Stephanie joins Brianna to talk about how books and writing aren’t just hobbies—they’re powerful tools for transformation. Whether you’re picking up a novel to escape, journaling your feelings, or helping others discover the magic of reading, these practices have the potential to change lives—yours included.
Redefining What Makes Us Badass
Stephanie opens the episode by redefining what it means to be a badass. It’s not about fame, multitasking perfection, or even achieving every goal on a checklist. Instead, she sees it as the courage to ask yourself what you want—and the bravery to listen to the answer and act on it.
As Brianna points out, there’s something incredibly powerful about reaching that stage in life where you realize, “Wait, this is my life. What do I want to do with it?” For so many of us, that realization comes with age, perspective, and often a lot of trial and error. But once you hit that sweet spot of self-awareness, it becomes a launching pad for doing what actually lights you up inside.
The Sacred Space of Reading and Writing
Stephanie’s favorite form of self-care? Unsurprisingly, it’s reading and writing. But not in a performative, picture-perfect kind of way. Instead, she talks about the solace and self-discovery found in quiet moments with a book or notebook. For her, writing has always been a form of therapy—a way to untangle thoughts and feelings and create space for new ideas and clarity.
Brianna echoes that sentiment, reminiscing about the unique joy of reading children’s books wrapped in library plastic and how those nostalgic moments sparked her own lifelong love of reading. Together, they reflect on how books can serve as portals—whether you’re escaping into another world, reconnecting with your inner child, or simply learning something new.
And let’s not forget writing. Stephanie emphasizes that writing doesn’t need to be for publication to be valuable. Sometimes the most important work happens in private pages. Other times, it’s about sharing your ideas with the world through blogs, books, or teaching. Either way, writing is both a practice and a gift.
The Power of Literacy: Beyond the Page
As a literacy educator at the university level, Stephanie shares how her career is built on helping others fall in love with reading and writing. But her real mission lies in empowering teachers to become joyful readers and writers themselves.
Because here’s the truth: kids are more likely to love reading when they see adults loving it too. Stephanie believes that teachers who model authentic reading and writing behaviors—who read the books their students are reading, who keep journals themselves—create classrooms where joy and curiosity thrive. It’s not just about meeting standards; it’s about building lives shaped by stories and self-expression.
She even takes it a step further by using her podcast, blog, and book club to reach not just educators, but anyone who wants to use reading and writing as tools for better living. Whether it’s journaling through a tough time or picking up a book that challenges your worldview, Stephanie insists the impact can be life-changing.
The Book Banning Crisis
One of the most poignant parts of the conversation is the deep frustration both Stephanie and Brianna feel about the current wave of book bans, especially in states like Florida. Brianna shares a heartbreaking moment when she discovered her local school had closed its library until lawyers could determine which books were “approved.” Books like The Rough-Face Girl and Festival of Colors—innocent, beautiful stories celebrating culture and inner beauty—were suddenly off-limits.
Stephanie reflects on how banning books strips away the emotional resonance that kids need most. Books that make children feel seen, heard, and understood are often the ones targeted, and that kind of censorship damages more than it protects. As Brianna says, “There’s a lot of cultural books in here. I want to ensure they’re read.”
Everyone Is a Reader—You Just Haven’t Found the Right Book Yet
When someone says, “I’m not a reader,” Stephanie sees it as a challenge. Maybe you haven’t found your book yet. Maybe reading has always felt like a chore because it was attached to tests, worksheets, and forced reading logs.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
You can read a mystery, a romance, a comic, or even a cookbook—whatever pulls you in and makes you want to turn the page. Brianna shares that for years after college, she felt like she couldn’t read just for fun because her English degree had conditioned her to overanalyze everything. But a professor’s reminder that “all reading counts” was a game changer.
As Stephanie says, the research backs this up: even six minutes of reading something you love can reduce stress and improve mental health. You don’t need to read a classic novel. You don’t need to look like a perfect “bookstagrammer.” You just need a book and a moment.
Three Life-Changing Book Recommendations
Naturally, Stephanie couldn’t leave without dropping some incredible book recs. Here are her top three:
- The Benefits of Being an Octopus by Ann Braden
A middle-grade novel about a young girl navigating caretaking, poverty, and finding her voice. A must-read for adults and kids alike. - The Reading List by Sara Nisha Adams
A powerful story about grief, healing, and community as a grieving widower finds comfort and connection through a mysterious book list found at the library. - The Keeper of Lost Things by Ruth Hogan
A beautifully written novel about loss, memory, and the magic of storytelling. A widower collects lost items to preserve their stories and finds healing along the way.
Stephanie and Brianna agree—children’s and middle-grade literature isn’t just for kids. It holds universal truths and emotional depth that resonate with readers of all ages. Whether you’re a teacher, a parent, or just someone who wants to be moved, these books will hit you right in the heart.
Final Takeaway: Reading and Writing Can Transform Your Life
To close out the conversation, Stephanie offers a simple but powerful truth:
“Reading and writing really can be a tool to create a life you love. They’re tools for transformation—emotionally, mentally, even physically—and they help us become who we’re meant to be.”
Whether you journal for clarity, escape into a novel, or start a book club, these practices matter. They’re not frivolous. They’re not just hobbies. They’re lifelines, healing tools, and sources of joy.
So if you haven’t picked up a book or a pen in a while, maybe it’s time to try again. Your most badass life might be waiting on the next page.