58: What If the Life You’re Waiting For Is Already Happening? | Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh – Badass Books and Besties
Hi, friends. I hope this message finds you well. I’ve been thinking a lot about you all and how you’re doing – it’s important to me that you feel adequate, validated, and worthy for just being you. So often we struggle internally to find the true spirit of ourselves and really need to be reminded that WE ARE ENOUGH. You are ENOUGH. I value your strength for making it through the day – even if it was a rough experience or you barely made it through, you can do this, and I’m here for you.
I spent some amazing moments with my girlfriends this past weekend in Nashville and learned so much about the true value of friendship. We shared so many secrets about our lives, our inner struggles of self-worth, and how important it is to spend quality time with those you love.
As we discussed everything that we had been going through, I kept referring back to the “Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. We are reading this book in the Lotus Academy Book Club this month (if you want in, be sure to check us out at Badass Book Besties) and the idea is that we need to live life by Four Agreements – which I will be referencing two of those agreements in this episode.
So, in the book, he explains the concept of our domestication – or how we were raised. How everything that we strive to be, everything that we have learned as a human being and how to ‘behave’ is based upon the ideas that we were raised into. Who and what we paid attention to the most taught us about our world and how to live within it. But at the same time, we didn’t choose it; our lives were already predetermined before we arrived. As children, our lives were configured based on how our parents raised us (or didn’t) and we believed everything that was taught to us by the adults.
Due to this, we developed an image of ourselves that would be acceptable/not acceptable to the world…which led to people pleasing others to make ourselves more “loveable.” It really had me reflecting on my own journey into womanhood and how I’ve created this image of “perfection” I needed to obtain in order to make people love me. I envisioned this beautiful woman who had perfect skin, long flowing hair, makeup that covered all of my flaws and accentuated the best parts, the most upbeat and exuberant personality…all of it to be more loveable/accepted by society. I wanted to ensure that people saw me in the BEST way possible because I feared rejection and had a complete lack of self-worth. (If you’re with me on this one, I feel you, honey…It’s been a lifelong struggle for me too.)
At the end of the day, after spending time with the beautiful women I’m so grateful to call my girlfriends and seeing their inner souls as pure, caring, and all around incredible, I realized we need to focus more on loving ourselves – no matter what.
I once saw a video where Lizzo described how someone had asked her how she had so much confidence. She said, “I’m beautiful, duh! Of course I have confidence!” I thought – how fucking awesome is it to just believe that you are everything?! That you are damn beautiful however you were created and however you present yourself to the world.
Even in my late 30s, I still struggle with this concept, so if you have any suggestions that I can share for our listeners on a future podcast, let me know! I know there are a lot of women out there who need to hear your uplifting message and ideas. So, be sure to send me all of the good vibes to mostbadasslifepodcast@gmail.com
Now, all of this introduction leads us to the premise behind today’s episode. I will be sharing the insight within the first part of book, “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. I will be breaking down the ideas that he presents and the first two agreements: Be impeccable with your words and Don’t Take Anything Personally. After listening, you will have a better understanding of why we evolved to who we are today and what we can do to change our lives for the better.
These will be part 1 of a 2 part series – this first episode will focus on the first two agreements and the second will focus on the second two, so be sure to be on the lookout for that.
Happy listening, my friends!